The Heart of a Snake
by sk3tch-MT
Summary: Post MGS4. Meryl comes to visit her long time friend in what may be the last moment they have together. Slight SPOILERS. R&R greatly appreciated.


_Author's Note: __Just a little Metal Gear love. Enjoy….or not._

**Discalimer:** Metal Gear Solid, and all its characters, including Solid Snake, Meryl Silverburgh, Otacon, Johnny Sasaki, and Roy Campbell, are all property of Hideo Kojima. This story is for entertainment purposes only and in no way does the author claim ownership of characters used in this page.

**The Heart of a Snake**

**By: bigfox**

"Johnny, if it's ok…I'd like to see him alone."

Meryl said this to her husband. Not asking, but telling him. What she was about to endeavor was something she would take with her the rest of her life. And she must endure this alone. A part of her heart…a large part, would be taken from her in the days if not weeks to come. Johnny obliged, knowing full well why she wanted this, remembering her story from their honeymoon. He took a seat among the others in the nearby room, with Otacon, Campbell and the rest of their friends.

Campbell got up to greet her. The formalities that awaited their return were said and done a few days before. It was a phone call from Otacon that had brought them here.

After a brief hug and kiss on the cheek (Meryl had finally fully forgiven Campbell of his supposed sin against her honor and his), she simply had to ask.

"How is he?" she said quietly.

"He's…he's…" Campbell staggered. The news clearly wasn't what she was hoping for. But it was no surprise either. A frown became very visible on her face.

"You should go see him. Judging by his tone in our own conversation, he wanted to see you."

Meryl nodded and began pacing down the hallway adjacent to the lobby.

It had been a month since Meryl laid eyes on the ever worsening condition of perhaps her closest friend. This man, this rugged beast, proud warrior, and silent killer, was also her mortal savior, as well to the entire planet, unbeknownst to them. Even so, he was always calm, cool and…well not so precise. But his high spirit was still an indication of his joy. He was still alive. After a lifetime of war, spilling blood, saving the planet, and overcoming staggering odds, he was still alive. He never enacted the classic cliché fate of great heroes. For the first time in the history of his line, he could enjoy life not as a soldier, but as a man.

This man…this Solid Snake….no, David…..was a legend unlike any other….

She was reliving each moment of that fateful day ten years ago, step-by-step, coinciding with each step she took towards the door to his room. The blistering cold, now amplified by the moment that was fast approaching as her hand reached forth to the knob. She gently twisted and pushed her arm and the door slid open, without noise; silent….like a Snake…

She cast a gaze upon him, his head was turned away, his burn wound somewhat visible in the dimly lit room. She silently closed the door behind her, never tearing her gaze from David, taking in the emotion that flooded her body by the mere sight of him in his weakened state. Or was he really weakened? Perhaps taking a short nap? It would be no surprise. Despite the strength this man had once and still possibly possessed, be it spiritual or physical, he was old now; old and tired.

But she sensed that wasn't the case. It couldn't have been, not for David, not for Solid Snake. Soon enough though, she had her answer.

She put a slightly coy grin on her face as she continued silently toward the bed on which he lay. It wasn't as seductive as it was mere sneaking, but it was enough to bother a normal man, someone like Johnny at least.

She continued until she was right next to the bed overlooking the side of his scared face. She bent down, putting her mouth only few inches from his ear…

"That's the _forth_ time I've been able to sneak up on the legendary Solid Snake."

His eyes opened as he turned his head to face her, looking straight at him. He put a light grin on his face, just enough to confirm Meryl's previous thoughts on what it was he was actually "persuading" her to do.

"Hmm…I must be losing my touch, but between you and me, you're the only one. Got it?" he mused. He let out a soft chuckle following the grin on Meryl's face. But he soon found himself coughing lightly as well. He turned his head away, covering his mouth as Meryl stood up and her grin turned to a worried expression.

"You ok?" She asked, leaning over to place a hand carefully on his shoulder.

"Yea…ugh…I'll be alright." He recovered from his bout and returned to his previous position, and Meryl knelt down beside the bed to prop and cross her arms on the side.

"So," he began after catching his breath. "How was your trip?"

"The honeymoon, it was nice. As a matter of fact, we went skiing in Alaska, close to Anchorage, and we caught the last few minutes of the Iditarod."

"Really?" He asked. "Who won?"

"Um…jeez what was his name?" She began, trying to recollect the events of that day. "Agh…I can't remember…it was something Pliskin I think. He was rather young for a professional musher, I know that much."

"Hah!" Snake mused, though _unfamiliar_ with the name, he had already deciphered that this 'kid' was probably only a few years old back when he was a musher himself.

"They get younger every year. But it brings back memories hearing about Alaska, dog sled races and such..." He turned back to her. "Well, I'm sure you had a great time?"

"Well, yes actually. After the race went off, we went back to the slopes for a few more go's, then Johnny fell on his ass and twisted his ankle pretty badly. We spent the night in the hospital, and he was on crutches pretty much the rest of the trip."

Snake let out another chuckle. Obviously Johnny was a clumsy man with or without a battle on his hands. He expressed his sympathy to her.

Meryl had managed to keep a straight grin, but Snake could still tell she had felt, and was still a bit rash on the issue of their honeymoon being cut somewhat short. Her story continued on.

"I decided that since we were in Alaska anyway, we might as well make the best of it. We talked about our past events leading up to our meeting…on Shadow Moses…"

Snake looked hard at her, hearing that name. It sent a jolt down his back to hear her bringing it up. He quickly regained himself; putting on an inquisitive face, and made best to keep the chatter flowing, not being too fond of the awkward silence in the room.

"Well…what was his story?" Snake new all to well of the events leading to his meeting with Meryl. Thought fateful as it may seem, it was a mere side-effect of a malignant plot devised by the now extinct Patriots. But yet Johnny, despite having wedded one of Snake's closest friends, and former love interest, remained a mystery to Snake.

"Well, as you probably are unaware," Meryl stood up to grab a nearby chair and positioned it beside where she was kneeling. She folded her right leg over left and clasped her hands over the knee. "He has a rather strong aversion to needles." She watched as Snake put a smirk on his face.

"And I don't know how he did it, but he was somehow able to evade his injection, yet still be registered as a Genome soldier. The reason he wasn't thrown in prison with me, is because he never had to the guts to refuse in the revolt."

"He never told you how he did it?" Snake asked.

"Secret of the family," She chuckled, folding her arms and leaning back in her chair "Apparently, the 'Johnnies' have a knack for circumvention. Don't ask _me_ anything about it."

"Hmmm…sounds curious." He grinned.

She nodded in agreement, putting on a slight smile and looking at Snake. The awkward silence returned once more, and Snake was out of ideas. They were simply staring at each other now; Meryl still smiling. But as moments passed, her smile gradually faded away, shifting to a ponderous expression. Her eyes began to wonder, looking about the room bathed in the in the amber glow of the lamp beside where she sat. She noticed out the corner of her eye that Snake had taken the opportunity to look over her well toned and curvaceous figure.

In doing so, Snake had allowed his thoughts to drift deeper in to the memory that Alaska had born for him.

"_Is this the first time you've ever pointed a gun at a person? You're hands are shaking…"_

"Well…"

"What?" Meryl eyes became fixated on Snake.

"He knows how you escaped. He was there after all…" Snake paused; Meryl put a cocky grin on her face.

"You did tell him the rest of the story…" Snake was moving into uncharted territory with his words, and knew it, but part of him had been there before. Meryl wasn't unfamiliar with the sensation either.

"Of course." She said. "I told him everything. From the very beginning; the shootout behind his bare butt, the ladies room…."

"_How did you recognize me in disguise?"_

"_I never forget a lady."_

"_Oh? So there's something you like about me, huh?"_

"_Yea, you've got a great butt."_

"_Oh, I see. First it's my eyes, now it's my butt. What next?"_

"_On the battlefield, you never think about what's next…"_

Meryl had another coy smile on her face, but then it faded to a mild grin, to contemplative, and finally to blank.

"Meryl? Snake spoke softly.

Her gaze shifted to him once more.

"Yes?" she said; her expression unhindered, deep in thought, oblivious to the world as it were.

Snake had already guessed where her train of thought was leading.

"Nothing. Never mind." Meryl's face was still blank. Her eyes weren't seeing what was in front of her now, but rather what was there nine years ago. Finally, Snake's voice had registered in her mind and had brought her back to reality.

"I talked almost throughout that night, telling him every detail I could remember…" Not that it was very hard. "From the torture room, to the cell, then finally waking up in the arms of a legendary hero…"

Their eyes became fixated on each other once again. A wordless conversation, yet no thought took place. It was a simple swirl of emotion, of nostalgia, the feeling of an unbroken bond, becoming renewed once more.

The morning after Johnny's fall, Meryl was still lightly asleep in the chair beside the bed. Johnny had just woken to the light of the morning sun, seeping in over white Alaskan mountains not to far from where the hospital was. Its beauty was extraordinary, bathing the city in an ethereal light. Johnny was awestruck; even more so when he noticed the silhouette of two figures, one smaller than the other. He continued to stare for a good half hour, when the position of the sun allowed him to notice antlers on the larger figure.

Even though he spent his fair share of time in the Alaskan wilderness, there were still so many things he never got the chance to learn about this beautiful land. He noticed in his peripheral vision that Meryl was just beginning to wake as well.

"Hey! What are those?" He exclaimed, pointing toward them.

Meryl winced, rubbing her eyes trying to focus on what Johnny was so excited about this early in the morning. When her eyes finally reached full vision of the figures, she put a warm smile on her face…

"That's caribou." Meryl didn't feel them, but for some reason, tears were welling up in her eyes.

"To the Aleutians, the caribou is a symbol of life."

The mother was keeping a close eye on her young as he trotted through the snow, picking through what little grass that had allowed itself to poke through.

"It'll be spring here soon…."

_For us too?_

_Yeah. Spring brings new life to everything. It's a time of hope. I've lived here a long time, but Alaska has never looked more beautiful…_

_The sky…_

_The sea…_

_The caribou…_

_And most of all…_

…_You…_

Snake was still focused on Meryl's eyes, but she stared in to the soft amber glow of the lamp; tears forming in her blue-green eyes. She was reliving the moment, as it were almost ten years ago. She was in a whole new dimension of emotion, with only one thought on her mind. It echoed back and forth through her mind. She wanted to know, she had to know why. Why was she feeling this way? Why did her heart weigh ten times more than it did ten minutes ago?

Her tearing eyes still fixed on the lamp; no, not a lamp, but the sun, the morning sun, peering through the split in the mountains, casting an ethereal glow on the vast glacier, and the aurora lights, dancing in the dark blue sky. Without thought, she was suddenly back in reality, and all she could mutter was…

"Snake…why did you leave?" Her gaze was nearly reaching the point between sobbing and crying.

Snake, somewhat awestruck, yet without surprise in his own thought, pushed the covers over to his side, and slid his feet onto the floor, placing himself in a sitting position. He decided not to waste his time

"A few weeks after President Sears, or Solidus was removed from office, Otacon had come across some info hacked from the Pentagon."

Snake then stood up and began pacing the room.

"During my…interrogation on Moses, Ocelot stole an optic disc given to my by AT President Baker. Ocelot then copied and sold that disc on the black market. You remember what was on that disc?"

"The Metal Gear test data." She said, slowly turning her head in thought

Snake nodded. "With that data, countless extremist factions, as well as the would-be third world nuclear powers would gain the ability to develop and build their own variations of Metal Gear."

"Yes…I know about your anti-Metal Gear activities, but…" Meryl's eyes, still retaining water, remained clear.

Snake paused as well. After Shadow Moses, it was no surprise that nearly everyone involved was brushed aside. It was lucky for Meryl that the Colonel's connections in the Army were able to save her career. It was in the meantime, that Snake had taken Meryl under his wing, to look out for her. He trained her, taught her techniques, and endowed her with knowledge. In a sense, he brought her up to be a formidable FOX-HOUND operative, despite its official disbandment. But most of all, during this time, more than anything…he loved her.

But Snake wasn't built to love. He knew that, and the fact was; it was literal. He was created for war and war only. He couldn't let this woman become involved in his life. Not Meryl, not this forbidden fruit. However, be that as it may, he was only human, no matter how the untrained mind may look at it; the innocent, as it were, who did not know the truth of Solid Snake's life and heritage. He cared for her deeply, passionately; but it was never meant to go beyond that. It couldn't. It was a sin for his kind.

"Meryl, listen to me…."

She looked him straight in the eye.

"Ever since Zanzibar, ever since I fought my father, nothing was ever simple again for me, nothing pure…."

He turned again facing away, and moving in the opposite direction.

"No matter what I did, something was always eating away at me, tearing at my conscience. Despite what you might decipher as patricide, that day took something from me. War…became a natural part of me. It was almost if…what I thought was the end of a nightmare, just planted the seed of an even bigger nightmare, one I would have to face in the near or far future; both in my case."

Snake could barely understand the words coming out of his own mouth. The simple fact of the matter was, what happened was unexplainable. The simple fact was, he was a soldier, a clone super soldier.

"No, that's not it…"

Big Boss's words echoed from the memory, a memory of warrior's past, and future.

"_..the loser is freed from battle, but the winner must remain there, to live out his days as a soldier…"_

"I couldn't. I couldn't stay, nor could I involve you. It was a life that only I could live. The life of a pariah as it came to be. Otacon and I, with our experience on Shadow Moses, had an obligation to fix what we inevitably became a part of. Mostly for Otacon, it was his Metal Gear that was stolen. He saw it as his job, with my help to destroy what he had created. I chose to follow him because of what I really am…a clone, a soldier…a beast. My only solace was living on my survival instinct."

Meryl stood up, slowly, and began walking around the chair, and facing away from Snake. She placed a hand on the backside of the chair.

"What about what you said to me? Before we escaped…."

Snake needed no time to remember his own words.

…_Maybe its time I started living for someone else…._

_..Someone else?..._

…_Yeah. Someone like you…_

_..Maybe that's the real way to live…_

"Meryl…"

Snake walked toward a small box on his drawer. He reached to open it, and pulled his bandana from the box. He closed the box and began to unweave the curled bandana in his hand, slightly stretching it to length.

The silken black bandana, his symbol, his identity…his story…his life….

Meryl turned, removing her hand and simply standing straight up now, facing his back.

Moments later, Snake turned to face her across the room. He look deep in to her eyes, with the passion that a soldier would show to his love; a knight to his princess.

"Live for you. That is all I said. That is all I meant. I couldn't live with you, or away from you. So what I did, was so I could live for you, to fight for you. Every step I took…"

He slowly began pacing toward her. The fog of the bitter cold began to emit, just like the Alaskan permafrost

"You were right there in my mind, almost as if you were along side of me."

The cold began to engulf them both. The depths of Shadows Moses were rising all around them…

Meryl mimicked him, and began pacing toward him, clad in her tactical gear; her boots making the distinctive 'clap' against frozen concrete.

"You, your face, your eyes, and what you taught to me in however brief a time we had…"

The met each other in bitter cold and stopped. Solid Snake, geared for a lifetime war, with darkened hair, and the face of warrior from the past and future combined, stood before her now.

"The thought of you is what was keeping me alive. It gave me hope, that maybe…we might actually meet again."

Snake reached for her hand and drew it toward him, directly between their waists. Her hand opened, seemingly obvious to what Snake was about to do.

He placed the bandana in her hand, lengthwise, and closed her fingers around it. Not yet making eye contact.

"I changed Meryl. I turned into a beast, a cursed Snake, who was never meant to see the day."

He paused. She was lost in his eyes.

"I would have rather died on that island than drag you into that darkness."

He lifted his own eyes and became lost in a sea of gold and brown. The eyes of love, the eyes of battle…

"But not a day went by, where I didn't look at the sunrise, and thank God almighty that we were able to walk off that island together. What I felt for you never changed Meryl."

Slowly, but not reluctantly, Meryl leaned forward, and kissed Snake.

He returned the kissed, and she deepened it into a passionate remembrance of old love.

She wasn't kissing Old Snake. It was Solid Snake, in the bitter cold of Alaska, on that day ten years ago, in the ethereal glow of the morning sun.

_(A/N) It's awful. Don't bother pointing that out. I just had an idea swimming around for a very long time and also came down with a case of writer's block. I may make an addition to this story or not. It just depends on what you, honorable readers, say about it. Anyway…peace! Ya'll have a great day!_


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